Self-Care is Important!___
Society has suggested and even programmed today’s Millennials to believe that something out of sight means that it is also out of mind- which is not a HEALTHY mentality to adopt. In my personal research and experience, I have found this statement to be enabling further mental destruction and distorted perception of the happenings of life. Sure, a situation or person is easier to forget or ignore if they are not visited (or revisited); however, if we do not address the issues or culprit for why we are not desiring to visit those things or people then we are simply just masking a bigger issue. Some Therapists and Psychologists believe that this toxic behavioral pattern mirrors the act of placing a bandaid over a bruise- Though it may cover the surface, the true damage is happening internally. If we continue to ignore feelings or experiences with no intervention of therapy or acknowledgment of the effects that it has, we will unknowingly develop mental triggers that will later cause self-sabotage.
Example: Let’s say that you have experienced a horrible break-up from a relationship that you thought would result in a life-long commitment to love and happiness. It brought hurt and feelings that you did not want to address so you both decided to not reflect and elaborate on the conclusion and completely go separate ways. Days later you both decide to block all forms of communication. To you, this is going to be away of not thinking about them and ultimately moving on with your life in another direction. What usually happens though is later down the line we start to see things and people that remind us of that person and then the hurts and experiences resurface and you discover that there were so many things you probably should’ve addressed and said when you had the chance.
Where Self-Sabotage Kicks In: Months later, you meet an individual and there is an immediate connection. You find yourself starting to feel hopeful of loving again but begin to notice habits of that person that reminds you of your past relationship. Though this new person has proven to be a breath of fresh air, you can’t seem to shake the fact that they may ultimately turn out like the last person. Although there is a likelihood that this occurrence may happen, we will likely miss countless opportunities in the future due to this type of fear. Rather than explaining your fears to the other person, you immediately disconnect and lose interest in that person- The cycle of neglecting internal damage (placing a bandaid on the bruise) has repeated!
See, out of sight does not always mean out of mind; Out of sight often proves to mean ‘REWIND’. What we do not deal with internally will ultimately repeat at a later stage in life. It is a cyclical behavior that will cause sabotage in situations and with other people.
There is hope though, we can break the cycle. We must first accept that we have some internal damages that need to be addressed. For some of you, this may mean seeking counseling or professional help, for others, this may mean addressing the actual person and situation. Whichever choice that you ultimately decide, the prevalent one that you will make is the one that results in a mentality switch from internal negligence and self-sabotaging to self-care and life-transformation. If you heal within, you’ll prevent the triggers that cause you to hurt others.
Self-Care is Important! You deserve to live a life that is free from burden, hurt and regrets. Choose today to live a better life!